Click your heels

So I'm heading back to OZ.

I have my plane ticket, but do I have my plan?

Yes, I think I do. Coming to France and spending time here hasn't been what I had hoped and expected. But it has been what I've needed. I've rediscovered myself. It's amazing what throwing yourself in the deep end, alone, can do. You see how yourself as you are, not how other people reflect you.

I'm going to continue with my I.T. consulting business, hopefully making a bit of cash without taking up all my time. And I'm going to write novels. It's what I want to do. It excites me. It's a cliche, but it holds great appeal to me.

I'm going to try very hard to keep the walking up. I've lost a metric fuck tonne of weight here, walking 2-4 hours a day and only eating when I'm hungry. Works a charm. I may even invest in a bike. We'll see. I don't have a car anymore, for one thing!

Can I make my dreams a living? We'll see.

And we're back...

I'm in a tiny hotel room in Paris. Crying. My plan to move to France, find a flatmate in Paris, find a job and live the good life is looking like pure madness right now.

I realised a few minutes ago that if I accept the most promising flatmate proposition I will have three months to find a job. If I don't I will have nothing. Nothing left. No money, most of my stuff in storage in Sydney. Nothing. More than 10 years in the workforce and I've got 3 months of life left.

I've been stone cold broke before, but that was only after a year in the workforce and most of my time spent in education. But now, 10 years of earning later, it's almost all gone. What was I thinking I could move cities/countries/language?

I'm going to end up on the streets. This is how it happens. You believe the hype that you should change your life if things aren't making you happen. I had a dream, I decided to follow it, but by all accounts it's madness.

Hopefully reaching rock bottom (again) will aid my writing.

Edit: It ain't helping my speeling! That should be happy, not happen!