My Plans

As you may not know, I’ve grown a beard. I’m also growing my hair long. This has given me an idea for how to proceed in the next few months, a project that probably deserves documentary treatment:

1) Once I have the requisite caveman/hermit look, I will stop bathing and washing my clothes.

2) Soon I will be fired from work.

3) I will then live off savings/selling everything I own for as long as possible

4) I will stop paying rent when I still have enough money to buy food for 3-4 months and wait until I’m evicted

5) Utility/bill payments will be stopped at this time also.

6) Live the life of a street bum for a while, await the release of the documentary on the experiment.

7) Starve/freeze to death or gain international notoriety!

Now, of course this is a joke, but it will be the answer I give when people ask me why I’m growing a beard. Plus, it gets you thinking. What would be the time frame of all this. How long until the electricity actually gets cut off? (They always threaten, but when push comes to shove it takes a bureaucratic bungle to actually get the electricity cut off) How long until the land lord turfs me out? I’ve been an excellent tenant, and could string them along for ages with promises secured by the good will I’ve already produced. How long would I last on the streets? How much publicity/federal funding could I get for this, given I could argue its an art/social science experiment?

And the big question: there must be homeless people out there who did essentially the same. They decided one day to stop working, stop paying the man and just let themselves go. I tell ya, it’s an attractive proposition.

I would call the experiment/documentary: “The Deliberate Hermit: The Descent of an Ordinary Man”

Update: Poster made! Thanks to South Park Character Generator