Torpid Nostaligia - Must Be Spring

"The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason." - John Cage

Awww, isn't that mind-numbingly sappy? True though. I once told a friend, who is so picky about what his perfect woman is that he has reached mid 30s without, how to say this tactfully, needing to lie on his application for the Young Liberals for Abstinence Party, that I see beauty in all women. Sure, this was partly arrogance on my part, coupled with a strong desire to argue that comes from my French heritage, but it was (is) also in part true. We are all human, we all breathe and think and feel pain and pleasure and laugh and cry and sing and dance and, while we all try desperately during our teen years and sometimes even beyond them to prove how different we are, we are all essentially the same. Short, tall, thin, fat, symmetrical, wonky, scruffy or coiffured. And there is beauty in that. Why? Because, I know there is beauty in ME, I can see it. It may not show itself in the mirror, or in many of my actions, or in some of my beliefs but somewhere, sometimes I’ll do something, or feel something or think something that is not ugly but beautiful. As do we all. And, if you look for it, you can see it in everyone else.

That is not to say that I am attracted to fat, ugly women as a rule, despite their inner beauty, I am not. But it is not for the social and peer pressure reasons of my friend. It is because society does not treat those it considers un-beautiful well, and a lot of inner beauty is destroyed by the nasty experiences that non-Pretty People are subjected to. Lack of self-esteem is not beautiful and the scars inflicted on social skills by ostracism can be insurmountable. I know people that ignorance would call un-attractive that have not let their esteem be crushed. They live happy lives and their partners live happy lives too. I have also met people who have become bitter for not being born a super model, who have it in for the rest of us for treating them badly. I can see bits that are worth seeing, but there does need to be a certainly base level of beauty, both physical and psychological, more the latter, for me to be interested. I suppose the truth of being outwardly beautiful is inescapable. Those that look good, will be treated better by others, make more friends and certainly being fawned upon is better for the psyche than being shunned. So, it doesn’t matter how hard one tries to be a better person by not judging books by their covers, the fact is society’s psychology makes it possible to do so.

However, consider this: Incredibly beautiful people, especially if they are both physically and intellectually gorgeous, have many of the same problems as the other extreme. If someone has extremely attractive features, most people are reluctant to socialise with them out of fear of inadequacy. This is compounded if they are extremely bright, as most people are intimidated by intelligence.

Like all things, beauty falls into the category of “Best in moderation”. The middle path.